Across the Alps

It has been a number of days since the last entry, but the Tour de Fat waits for no man or woman and since we left Montreux we have put in some significant kilometres.

I do not have much time to fill you in on every detail, so I will do my best to give you an idea.

Western Europe has been experiencing a heatwave and after a rest day in Montreux we awoke on Tuesday to another blazing day in the sun, the hottest thus far. We had decided to make the run around the southern shores of Lake Geneva, which meant we expierienced the peculiar sensation of entering France only to cross back into Switzerland to reach Geneva.

There was very little time to explore Geneva and from the look of the people clad in very expensive outfits, we wouldn't have been able to afford it anyway. As we rolled out of town the temperature under the full force of the sun was reaching 47c and it was with no uncertain amount of annoyance that we crossed into France again only to discover a long shallow climb of maybe 12km before plunging down into Annecy.

Stage 13 - Montreux to Annecy = 135km

Annecy provided some unexpected relief when, much to our surprise, the British guy sharing our room informed us that it was Tuesday, not Wednesday. Somehow we had miscounted our days and brought ourselves into the rest town a day early. The pressure was off and we enjoyed a few drinks while discussing the transition of our panniers, tents and so on, over the Alps. And so it was on Thursday that we hired a car and drove around the Alps to le Bourg d'Oisans to leave our luggage at the hotel we would stay at on Saturday night; after the Bastard Pass it was decided there was no way we were going over the Alps with the bags!

We arrived back in Annecy with enough time to make some minor repairs to the bikes and roll the easy 50km to Albertville, our gateway to the Alps.

Stage 14 - Annecy to Albertville = 50.7km

It's hard to believe that anything ever happened in Albertville, let alone an Olympic Games and it was with this thought that we rolled out of town bound for our first serious climb of the Tour, Le Col de la Madeleine.

The Madeleine was tough: 27km in the baking heat with a gradient rising at times to 9%. Choc set the pace and never relinquished the lead, followed by Jon with yours truly some way back in third. I'm afraid that I am not built for climbing! However, I drop like a stone on the descents, even if I climb like one too... We were only too happy to find our hotel halfway down the mountain, the delightful Chalet d'Augistine in the little mountain hamlet of le Planet. We spent an enjoyable evening with the proprietors drinking and chatting as best we could with our patchy French.

Stage 15 - Albertville to Le Planet (Le Col de la Madelaine) = 74.3km; Choc and Jon - 9 standard drinks; Dave - 5 standard drinks

If anyone ever asks me to climb the Col du Telegraphe/ Col du Galibier double again, I will politely decline pleading an appointment for a prostate examination with a blind doctor holding a nail file. I think I speak for all of us when I say that this was the most difficult thing we have ever done. Period. The Telegraph kicks off hard, but is reasonable over its 12km rise before a fast 5km descent into the town of Valloire. But then it gets serious... The Galibier proper snarls and kicks for 17km with a sting in the tail that rises to 10% only 1800m from the top. The road rises to a massive 2645m and you can feel the thinner air. If someone asks me if they should attempt it, in answer I shall cackle madly and shuffle off to get drunk in the nearest establishment suited to the purpose.

Luckily the descent off the Galibier to the Col du Lautaret was fast and furious followed by another 40km down to the valley of the Oisans. If luck has shone on us this trip it was with Choc's broken spoke only 15km from the finish, neatly twisted into a ball that did no further damage.

Stage 16 - Le Planet to Le Bourg d'Oisans (Le Col du Telegraph & le Col du Galibier) = 123.6km

I write to you from Le Bourg d'Oisans, the village at the base of l'Alpe d'Huez. We're sipping beer and considering making the ascent in the morning. Of course we will do it, but after the Galibier I am cured of Alpine Cols forever.