Le Grand Depart

The Tour de Fat is off to a good start despite some early setbacks. Choc arrived in Vienna first as for various reasons we were not flying together. Jon and I received the following somewhat desperate message:

"I got bike together and felt good and game so I headed down a road that looked innocent enough... It turned into a more major road, so I turned off and found myself entering the A1 autobahn - jeez! In desperation I crawled back to the airport in the service lane with cars honking and shit and took the train."

Needless to say I took the train after such clear advice and at the hostel in Vienna met up with Jonnie, who had had his own dramas with his bike making a 24 hour detour to the Outer Hebrides courtesy of Qantas. It arrived in time for us to put it together scant hours before departure and once again all was well. In the evening we made our way to Stephanskircher in the centre of Vienna and made our Ocean's Eleven style rendez-vous with Choc and Tommy and the team was complete.

Of our first days I will try to be brief.

The magnificent Danube accompanied us on the first morning under a blue sky and with the temperature soaring. With our spirits high we rolled along the river until the path took a left turn and we plunged into the countryside and got completely lost. It had seemed simple enough to get from Vienna to Krems an der Donau (Danube), but we had neglected to follow the most fundamental of rules for the traveller: take a map. We muddled around until well past midday before we came across the Danube again and asked a friendly couple sipping drinks at a cafe the direction to Krems. They were helpful enough, but one couldn't escape the feeling that they thought us idiots for getting lost while following the largest river in Europe... C'est la vie. DAY 1: 101.5km

Day Two got off to a shaky start when I ripped a hole in my foot on a tent peg, thereby confirming for all and sundry that camping sucks, and had to spend and hour at the hospital getting a few stitches. This put us a little behind the starter's gun, but we managed ok on a gloriously sunny day and arrived late in the afternoon at a campsite about 20km short of Linz. The scenery in the Wachau Valley along the Danube was stunning and had us all feeling the worth of the trip, although Jonnie felt it less after coming down on a sharp bend about 15km short of the destination and forever leaving a bit of himself on a road in Austria. He soldiered on, made camp and after a shower and a workout with the antiseptic he was as good as new. DAY 2: 110.7km

None of us has been sleeping well (nothing that a couple of nifty pills wouldn't fix, but one must ration) and the tiredness has taken its toll on our pace, but this was balanced out on day three by another warm day and beautiful rolling countryside as we left the Danube and headed south for Salzburg. We stopped at beautiful lake Attersee and in a dehydrated delirium leared at a number of scantily clad women in bikinis but hopefully not obviously enough to upset anyone. We ended the day setting up camp in a site that is far from Austria's finest and I had a go at some DIY acupuncture to relieve a niggling injury in my back. Lying out in the sun next to my tent I found it less of a challenge to the senses than the people walking past on the way to the shower block who were confronted with the vision of a bloke on the ground with a needle sticking out of his arse cheek... It works, by the way and thanks to Dr. Buzz for that.

It would be remiss of me not to take a moment to give you an idea of the thoughtfulness and preparedness of ourDirector Sportif, Tommy Henri. Here is a man that has driven clear across Europe to lead our tour from a distance (usually from his palatial tent until about 11.30 in the morning) and arrive at the destination with time to get the blender revved up and take the dacquiri ingredients out of the portable fridge... This is no joke; we're talking about a man that has brought a three-metre extension arm for a paint roller in case we can use it as a boom for the video camera. DAY 3: 121.3km

We will add photos as soon as we can find an internet cafe that is modern enough to handle it.

Take it easy,
Team Tour de Fat: Jonnie, Choc, Dave and Tommy (DS).